American Hara-kiri

IMHO, the most important event during my blogging hiatus was Comedy Central's censorship of the South Park episodes, 200, and 201, a rip-roaring parody on Islam's stricture on picturing Muhammad. I didn't miss either episode, or the following uproar over Islamists' threat to South Park’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, that the same fate that befell the Dutch film maker Theo von Gogh, for the making of the short film, Submission, a co-production with Ayaan Hirsi Ali, would befall them, too.

I had the satisfaction of millions of viewers vindicating my consistent position that, of all religions, Islam today stands out as the most virulent and totalitarian. The religion is a grave threat to the civilizational progress that humanity has achieved over centuries. I echo every word that New York Times columnist, Ross Douthat, wrote in his op-ed piece, "Not Even in South Park?". Here's an extract:

Across 14 on-air years, there’s no icon “South Park” hasn’t trampled, no vein of shock-comedy (sexual, scatalogical, blasphemous) it hasn’t mined...

Our culture has few taboos that can’t be violated, and our establishment has largely given up on setting standards in the first place.

Except where Islam is concerned. There, the standards are established under threat of violence, and accepted out of a mix of self-preservation and self-loathing.

This is what decadence looks like: a frantic coarseness that “bravely” trashes its own values and traditions, and then knuckles under swiftly to totalitarianism and brute force.

The article is a must read for all the rational fools out there!

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The Woo-woo of Quantum Avatars

Apoorva Chakravorty is an aspiring scriptwriter in Mumbai. According to this news story from the Mumbai Mirror, Apoorva, of late, has been besieged by crows that are foiling his attempts to turn around his floundering career. Apoorva believes the crows are the avatars of a local priest, with whom he has had a recent fallout. His repeated complaints to the law enforcement officers have been dismissed as those of a man who "did not seem to be in good mental health". Apoorva's claim is "not scientific and impossible to investigate", they have said. IMHO, the Mumbai police's skepticism is unwarranted, and I hope that after reading this they will convert from a skeptic to a neurotic a neuro-skeptic.

The pujari takes the avatar of a crow (and sometimes a pigeon) to harass Chakravorty
while he is meeting prospective employers [source: The Mumbai Mirror]

To prove that Apoorva does indeed have a case against the priest, I don't have to resort to fantastic theories of transmigration of souls or metempsychosis. When Ennius, the great Roman poet,said, "I have seen Homer in my dream, and he has assured me that the same soul which had animated both of us had once belonged to a peacock", he was not talking about metempsychosis. Ennius had actually foreseen modern quantum physics and neuroscience.

Apoorva is not superstitious. Au contraire, I think, I am going to have to say ... that the Mumbai police is being superstitiously materialistic ... that science is now in the process of overthrowing ... the climactic overthrow of the superstition of materialism. Not the science of the Mumbai police that is really frozen in the dungeons of conservatism and the dungeons of orthodoxy, but the science of Rumi, the great Sufi poet [who] said, "You are not just a drop in the ocean; you are the mighty ocean in the drop".

It may seem that the priest and the crow are morphogenetically differentiated, but what we call a crow or a priest comes from something that is not material. That the essential nature of the physical world is that it is not physical. That the essential stuff of the universe is non-stuff. That the essential stuff of the priest and the crow is this non-sense non-stuff. Since everything in this universe is made of non-sense — arghhh!!! why do my fingers keep taking these quantum leaps into non-sense — non-stuff, I mean, it follows that everything is connected to everything else. The priest's consciousness ... is part of this sea of consciousness, of which the crow's consciouness is also a part.

Today science tells us that the essential nature of reality is non-local correlation. Therefore, the crow's actions and the priest's thoughts are correlated. If the priest wished to disrupt Apoorva's business meetings, all he has to do is to think about it.

[T]here is something called the observer effect, where intention orchestrates space-time events, which we then measure as movement in motion and energy and matter. The space-time event that we are talking about here is ... the space-time event set in motion by the priest's ill-thoughts about Apoorva is ... a hundred cells in the crow's brain fire simultaneously. It's as if the priest has morphed into the crow. The crow flies into Apoorva's dining room, and does what it needs to do, spoiling his guest's lunch!

Why the crow, you may ask. Science tells us that nature is a discontinuity, that it's an on off phenomenon. That there are gaps between every two "on"s, where you find a field of possibilities... between the priest-on and Apoorva-on... the possibilities are the priest's wife, his cow, Aishwarya Roy, Mukesh Ambani, crow, pigeon, Apoorva's dog ... the field of pure potentialities.

Who picks the potentiality of a crow? Science doesn't call it god, but what is god, if not the immeasurable potential of all that was, all that is, and all that will be. If god intended it to be the crow, the crow it was, the crow it is, and the crow it will be!

I say to the Mumbai Police Commissioner: you have to stop being the Jihadists and the Vatican of conservative and orthodox science which is not relevant anymore... And, all you have to do is to understand the principles of science and understand that you have within you the resources to intuitively grasp this mystery of the priest taking the avatar of a crow.

It doesn't really take quantum physics to understand all this, but you have taken physics, chemistry, and biology in your high school, haven't you? If there's anyone who has the credentials of Richard Feynman in quantum physics, it ought to be you!

---

¹Italicized parts are quotes from Deepak Chopra during The Nightline Face-Off: Does God Have a Future? From ABC Nightline: Sam Harris and Michael Shermer vs. Deepak Chopra and Jean Houston, via New Age Nonsense. All errors and omissions in the interpretation, extension, and application of Chopra's observations to Apoorva's troubles are, of course, entirely mine.
²Hat tip to Amit Varma @India Uncut for Apoorva Chakravorty's story from the Mumbai Mirror.

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Reasoning with Ramayana - Canto I

Ever since my granddaughter was born, I have been dreading the day when I will have to start fulfilling my paramount duty as a grandfather. Yes, I am talking about bedtime stories. Right now, she'll go to sleep on my shoulder happily, when I sing to her something like "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star" in my preferred singing style — out of tune. I know that the day is not too far, though, when she'll pop the question, "Grandpa, will you tell me a story, please?". It's not that I don't have too many stories to tell, but like grandpa, like granddaughter, you know. What if she asked troubling questions? Here's how I think it will go with the first part of Ramayana, a story from the subcontinent.

Pencil Sketches|
Forward this Picture

Once upon a time, long, long, ago, there was a king called Dasaratha, who ruled the kingdom of Ayodhya. He had three wives, Kausalya, Sumitra ...

But, grandpa, daddy has only one. Why?

Well, my dear, for one thing, your mommy is going to get very, very angry, if he had three. Besides, Dasaratha was a king, and your daddy is not, okay. Now, let's get back to Dasaratha and his three wives, Kausalya, Sumitra and Kaikeyi.

Just a minute, grandpa, did queens have many husbands, too? Back then?

Absolutely not, queens could have only one husband...

But, that's not fair, grandpa, I don't like this story!

Bear with me, kiddo. I promise you it'll get better. Now, the king and his three wives didn't have a baby for a long time.

My friend, Tony, said that his uncle and aunt couldn't have a baby, too. So, they went to see this doctor, you know, psychologist or something ...

Gynecologist.

Yeah, that's it ... and he gave them twins. Did Dasaratha and his wives go to a doctor?

You are getting ahead of me and the story, Amy. No, there were no doctors then, and so they went to a priest...

Priest? Like the Pope? Can the Pope give them twins, too?

May be, may be not, but this priest asked them to offer a prayer to the gods ...

But, grandpa, you always say there's no god...

Yes, Amy, there isn't, but in those days they thought there was one... er... many gods. It's just a story, Amy, so don't ask too many questions, okay. Otherwise, I'll stop here ...

No, please don't, grandpa. I promise I won't ask too many questions, only a few. Is that okay?

Okay. With his wives beside him, King Dasaratha offered a special prayer to the gods, so he'd have sons.

Sons? Why not daughters? Didn't he like girl babies? [pouting] Did you and daddy want a boy, too, grandpa?

Oh, no, honey, we were very, very happy when you and mommy were born. We love you soooooo... much, pumpkin. We won't trade you for a million sons!

Then, why didn't this king ask for... hm... three wives and he didn't ask for even one daughter! Why, grandpa?

Because, he was a dumb fool, Amy, that's why.

And, he was a king?

Yup. As Dasaratha prayed ... er... how do I describe this ... there was this genie that emerged from the fireplace...

A genie? like the genie in Aladdin?

Yes, like the genie in Aladdin.

From the fireplace? Like Santa Claus? Grandpa, why does Santa Claus always come through the chimney and fireplace? Why doesn't he use the front door like everyone else?

That, too, is just a story, Amy. There is no Santa Claus, like there are no genies or gods, but that story is for another night. So, moving on, this genie gave Dasaratha a cup of pudding for his wives to eat. He promised him that they'd have babies, if they did.

Pudding? Like the one that grandma makes? I love pudding. Will I also have a baby if I eat pudding, grandpa? I am sort of getting bored with these dolls now!

Sorry, sweetheart, you won't. As I have told you several times already, this is just another story like Aladdin and his Magic Lamp.

Oh! It was a magic pudding...

Yes, now, let's get on with the story. Dasaratha's wives shared the pudding, and lo and behold, in nine months Kausalya and Kaikeyi each had a baby, and Sumitra, twins.

Wow, four babies! All at once? The gods in these stories must be better than Tony's psychologist. Do they also make a lot of money like him? Tony says his psychologist does.

Gynecologist. And, they named them Rama, Bharatha, Lakshmana, and Shatruguna ...

Zzzzz...

I kissed her goodnight, and heaved a sigh of relief. Oughf, that wasn't so bad, was it?

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New Age Nonsense

The Nightline Face-Off: Does God Have a Future? From ABC Nightline: Sam Harris and Michael Shermer vs. Deepak Chopra and Jean Houston
Continuous Playlist [in 12 Parts]: via AtheistMedia, YouTube

My personal favorites are Parts 2 and 3, where Sam Harris and Michael Shermer take down Deepak Chopra from his self-assigned pedestal. Harris starts off with a flourish:

Harris: [T]he god that our neighbors believe in is essentially an invisible person. He is a creator deity who created the universe to have a relationship with one species of primates. Lucky us. And, he has got galaxy upon galaxy to attend to, but he's especially concerned with what we do, and he's especially concerned with what we do while naked. He almost certainly disapproves of homosexuality ...

And, it's precisely this sort of god, this sort of a scheme that you must believe in, if you are gonna have any kind of future in politics in this country, no matter what's your gifts. You could be an unprecedented genius. You could look like George Clooney, you could have a billion dollars and you could have the social skills of Oprah, and you are going nowhere in politics in this country, unless you believe in that sort of god...

Dan Harris [Moderator]: ... Deepak, what scientific proof or evidence that you can muster in support of your assertion that there is, for lack of a better term, a god or some sort of intelligence at the heart of the universe?

Chopra: ... Okay, what scientific proof... I think science is ... I am going to have to say that science is now in the process of overthrowing the climactic overthrow of the superstition of materialism. That everything that we call matter comes from something that is not material. That the essential nature of the physical world is that it is not physical. That the essential stuff of the universe is non-stuff. Call it what you will.

And, science also tells us ... Science also tells us that there's a field of non-locality where everything is correlated with everything else [watch Dan Harris' face] ... [to Shermer] your science is really frozen in the dungeons of conservatism and the dungeons of orthodoxy. Today science tells us that ... there is something called the observer effect, where intention orchestrates space-time events, which we then measure as movement in motion and energy and matter [watch Sam Harris' face].

... but one of the things we have to do today, my friends at Caltech ... That you have to stop being the Jihadists and the Vatican of conservative and orthodox science which is not relevant anymore.

Dan [smiling]: [Michael] Do you have anything in there that convinces you?

Shermer: Uh... You asked, Dan, what I meant by "woo woo". That's the very embodiment of "woo woo". He said... stringing together at a rapid patter, a bunch of scientific sounding words, sprinkled in with some spiritual new age words is... doesn't mean anything...

And, by the way scientists are not jihadists here. This is Caltech. We are not jihadists. That was really very unfair to all of you, very un-Deepak of you to say that.

Shermer really got Chopra's goat here, and he never recovered from it. Harris then turned the knife in:

Harris [addressing Chopra]: ... there is not a physicist sitting on this stage right now, okay. I would never be tempted to lecture a room full of thousand people at Caltech about Physics. I am not a physicist. You're not a physicist. And, and, and [he's struggling to remain polite] basically every sentence demonstrates that ... that you speak on the subject.

Then, this exchange between Harris and Chopra towards the end of the debate:

Chopra [visibly angry]: You are making that statement without qualifying it, without giving any proof of that. Give me some proof that what I am saying is what he [Michael Shermer] says is "woowoo" just because he can't understand it ... You know, every discipline has its own vocabulary.

Harris: Okay, if you are gonna say that non-locality is an operable principle in neuroscience, that is woowoo right now.

Chopra [louder]: It's not ... It's the principle in morphogenesis and differentiation, it's the principle in the workings of the pacemaker of your heart where a hundred pacemaker cells fire simultaneously ...[even louder] ... non-locally.

Harris: It's just not true ... sort of saying it louder and relentlessly is not going to make it true.

Watch the entire debate — if you can really call it one — it's worth every minute. To the best of my knowledge, the only thing that does a better job of exposing this New Age nonsense is the Seinfeld episode in which George, afraid of going through with a tonsillectomy, consults a holistic healer recommended by Kramer!

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Breaking News!

Top ten breaking news from around the world, April 1, 2010:

10

China has invited the Dalai Lama for consultations on autonomy for Arunachal Pradesh, India, which will hereafter be referred to as Tibet. Simultaneously, the Politburo of the Chinese Communist Party entered into an agreement with Google to resume its operations in China, provided that its search suggestions for "China" always ended with "workers' paradise", "rising superpower", "market socialism", or "land of the rising sun", and never with, "internet censorship", "Tiananmen Square", or "melamine in milk".

9

India and Pakistan have agreed to liberate the Kashmir regions under their respective rule, enabling the formation of an independent, Secular, Democratic, Republic of Kashmir. Noted novelist and activist, Arundhati Roy, will be the first honorary President of SDRK. Welcoming the development, India's cricketing god, Sachin Tendulkar, announced that he would play for SDRK in the forthcoming World Cup in 2011, provided that it was not brought under Islamic rule by then.

8

In a surprise visit to the NWFP, Pakistan, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton presided over the surrender of the Taliban. The Taliban laid down and returned all the arms that it had received from the State Department during her husband's presidency. Secretary Clinton promised to reciprocate the favor by funding several girls' schools in Afghanistan that the Taliban has proposed to start.

7

President Mahmoud Ahmedinijad today came out of the closet with the confession that he has been, is, and will always be bi-sexual, tacitly dismissing his assertion that there are no homosexuals in Iran as a lie. Several members of Iran's Guardian Council and the Assembly of Experts are expected to follow Ahmedinijad's example and acknowledge that they are gay, too. Barely concealing its glee, the San Francisco LGBT Community Center invited Ahmedinijad — and, he accepted — to deliver a lecture on LGBT rights at the University of California, Berkeley.

6

King Abdullah bin Abdel Aziz al-Saud of Saudi Arabia announced that he had abdicated the throne in favor of his daughter, Princess Adelah bint Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud. She will be the first Queen of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, which, hereafter, will be known simply as Saudi Arabia. Immediately upon ascending the throne, Queen Adelah invited Danish cartoonist, Kurt Westergaard, to deliver the keynote address in an OIC sponsored Conference on Freedom of Expression in "Muslim Lands", to be held in Mecca next month. Incidentally, Queen Adelah said that she would also be the first woman to drive a car in Saudi Arabia without a male companion beside her.

5

Israel announced that it would proceed with the building of new settlements in East Jerusalem and West Bank. Here is the twist: title deeds for the houses in these settlements will be given exclusively to Palestinian families who had lost their homes in its recent bombing of Gaza! In a gesture of appreciation, Hamas announced that it was renouncing all forms of violence, and would be sending its entire leadership to the Gandhi, King, and Mandela Institute in India for a year long training in Ahimsa, Yoga, and Meditation.

4

Beset by the swirling controversies around "what he knew and when he knew" about sexual abuse of children in Catholic churches around the world, Pope Benedict today submitted his resignation to the Holy See in Vatican. Asked about his plans for the future, Ratzinger said that he would be returning to his native Bavaria in Germany to start a day care center for children under the age of 6.

3

In a landmark judgment today, the Supreme Court of the United States declared that the First Amendment was unconstitutional because it violated the First Amendment. In an unanimous 8-0 ruling (Justice Scalia had resigned hours before the judgment), the justices opined that the apparent paradox arose from the inability of the Court to define god or religion. Accordingly, the justices affirmed that all references to god and religion by the Federal and State governments in future would be deemed as unconstitutional.

2

In an announcement that shocked and awed even former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Fox News contributor Sarah Palin announced that she was resigning from the Republican Party, the Tea Party, the Marijuana Party, and every other party she claimed to be a member of. Palin said that she and her family would soon be moving to Siberia, a place she had always gazed at longingly from her home in Alaska. It is expected that Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity of Fox News would be joining her a few weeks later.

1

Speaking to reporters during a break in his duck hunting expedition with former Vice President Dick Cheney and Speaker Nancy Pelosi, President Obama announced that he was withdrawing his signature from the Health Care Bill, which, Pelosi hurriedly pronounced as dead. Asked about the bandages around Obama's and Pelosi's cheeks, Cheney winked and said that he and his gun had absolutely nothing to do with those or the demise of the Health Care Bill.

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